Agoraphobia

I woke up this morning still not sure of how I wanted to proceed with my story of anxiety/panic disorder. I realized that in there I need to mention that I was not then nor am I now the only one in my family with such disorders. All of this came to light when I finally started talking about what was happening to me. My Mom revealed to me that she too suffered from anxiety and panic attacks but she didn't know what they were until I finally started getting information on it all. Of course she was born in the 1930's and back then anxiety/panic disorders and OCD were not terms that had yet been invented. At least I don't think so. If there was a doctor out there that used those terms they weren't widely known and nobody talked about it. I always wondered why my Mom had such a hard time with driving. She was always a nervous wreck when she drove and avoided doing it as often as possible. Then there was my Grandfather on my Mom's side. We always heard stories about when my Mom and her siblings were little and they would all get ready to go somewhere and just when it was time to leave my Grandmother would come in and tell all the kids that they weren't going after all because my Grandfather didn't feel well. My Mom said it happened every time. And that story leads me to Agoraphobia which is a phobia that can and often does develop as a result of having panic attacks. Agoraphobia means "fear of the market" but anyone who has suffered can tell you that it's not a fear of "the market" it's more a fear of a panic attack happening at the market, or where ever or whatever the circumstances that a panic or anxiety attack has occurred before. I like to call it a fear of fear. I have suffered with agoraphobia and still do. Every day is usually a challenge for me if I have to drive to places or go to the store by myself. Sometimes I can handle it better than others but it's still a challenge every time. I'm not afraid of Walmart or my car or the streets that I am driving on my fear is "what if I have a panic attack?!" If you have never had a panic attack (most people have had at least one) I need to stop here and explain what a panic attack is for those who don't understand. People have panic attacks all the time. Ok so you are driving along and a car darts out in front of you and you are about to hit it, you may actually be in the middle of a panic attack, it triggers the fight or flight response and either you run or fight, in this case it's a little different because you are driving and you don't have to actually fight or flee but you have to do something or you will hit the car. The fight or flight response releases adrenaline and it causes a quick reaction from you either you hit the brakes or swerve to avoid hitting the idiot that almost caused an accident and when it's over you cus the idiot out like crazy. Ok so that last part isn't a requirement but it's usually what happens. You feel shaky and angry after the incident is over. That was a panic attack. Those kinds of panic attacks are normal and useful. In a person who has a panic disorder the panic attack occurs in a totally calm situation out of the blue. The person's heart rate increases, their breathing gets shallow and quick and they start to feel that tunnel vision. Something has to be done FIGHT OR FLEE is what their mind is saying and since they can't see how or why they must fight they usually flee. Fleeing is actually the worst thing that one can do but try telling the person that is having the panic attack that. They don't know if there is some unseen danger if they are about to pass out, pee on themselves, die or a whole host of other irrational thoughts at that moment. All the person experiencing an unprovoked panic attack knows is they are uncomfortable and afraid and they want to be comfortable again. So I hope I haven't confused you more and that you have some idea of what a panic attack is. Now agoraphobia can develop in a person who has had this irrational panic attack. The person starts to believe that the panic attack occurred because of the place they were and the thing that they were doing at the time that it occurred so they start to avoid the places and circumstances that the panic attack occurred in and that is when it's called agoraphobia! A long round about way of getting there but that's it. OK I had intended to write more today but it's getting late in the day and I have got to get off of the computer so I can get some house work done. After all I am a housewife=0)